“Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God, so that he may exalt you at the proper time, casting all your cares on him, because he cares about you.”

 1 Peter 5:6

Disappointment. 

Yet, again. 

I look down at my watch and realize it is time to pick my girls up from school. Another day lost. Life events and the day-to-day care of myself and my family life seemed to take up all the hours of my day for more days than I could count.

 I hoped to squeeze in some writing time that day. But instead, my day was full of prayer time, working out, a counseling session with my therapist, and grocery shopping. Not that any of these things are bad, but for another day, I found myself wallowing in disappointment that I was still not making any progress in my writing path. 

When I left my 18-year career as a speech-language pathologist last November, I had grand intentions to hit the ground running with my writing ministry at the start of 2022.  Yet, I found myself in mid-April, having written one blog post, a handful of Instagram posts, and two guest blog posts. 

Not exactly what I had envisioned. 

In my grand plan, I would have shared blog posts regularly, done a few more guest posts, regularly posted content on Instagram, and made more connections with other writers within my writing communities. I had hoped to train and learn more about how to connect with my reader. There is so much that goes into being a writer these days, and I was sure that I could finally grow confident in areas that were overwhelming and daunting to me.

Instead, most of my time since last November has involved:

*Diving deeper into unhealed trauma caused by my husband’s betrayal five years ago.

* A lot of counseling

* Re-entering marriage counseling with my husband after a 2-year hiatus.

*Dealing with ongoing health issues and working to heal my body physically, mentally, spiritually, and emotionally

*Being a more present mom to my girls.

*Supporting my husband in his pursuit to heal.

* Spending extended time in prayer with Jesus,

* Slowing down to catch my breath after five years of an uphill battle. 

For many of us (me included), the list above doesn’t look like a list of much accomplishment. To the worldly eye, it seems relatively unproductive. But this current season, God has taught me quite a bit about productivity and growth. 

When we are disappointed in our progress towards the dreams God has placed on our hearts, we can turn to 1 Peter 5:6.

“Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God, so that he may exalt you at the proper time, casting all your cares on him, because he cares about you.” 

We all long to feel significant. We want to feel like we are making a difference and following God’s calling. But, what if to get to that season of the very thing God is calling you to do, you must first go through a season of refinement. 

We may feel ready to forge ahead with what we envision as the “right” course of action, but God often has a better plan. Humbling ourselves and allowing God to work in His time and His vision will better prepare us to carry out the plan intricately designed just for you and just for me. 

Ephesians 3:20 tells us, “Now unto him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is in work within us.” 

We all long to feel significant. We want to feel like we are making a difference and following God’s calling. But, what if to get to that season of the very thing God is calling you to do, you must first go through a season of refinement. 

If we head down the path we envision and skip the refining season God has set before us, we may miss the pruning, growth, and molding he will use to push us to the next season, putting His plan to action. 

During this season of refinement, God has diligently worked to repair unhealed wounds (wounds I was unaware of until this season). He deepened my understanding of who I am (in His eyes) and continued restoring my marriage (little did we know there was more restoring to do). 

As I began to embrace where God had placed me, I let go of the need to feel as if I had to produce.  I plugged into God instead of the plans I envisioned and finally accepted that this is right where He wanted me to be. 

 During this time, God pushed me to grow within myself, my marriage, and my family. Had I moved forward with my plan, the time needed for this growth wouldn’t have been possible. 

So friend, if you are disappointed in the progress in your journey, push into our heavenly Father. Listen for where He is telling you to go. He may just ask you to stay where you are so that He can use this season to refine you and mold you for the beautiful journey He has in store. 

Dear Lord, I come to you disappointed in the progress I have made towards where I feel you are calling me. Lord, push me forward into that calling if the time is right. Lord, humble me to your plan if you need me to be still. I know your plan is better than mine, and I do not want to move forward without you. I ask your spirit to work within me, refine the places that need growth, and prepare me for the path you have laid before me. In Jesus’ name, Amen